I am not in a good mood today. We went to visit some old neighbors from camp last night. They live in the city and we didn't get home until midnight, which would be why I didn't get up until 11:30 this morning. It was nice to see them tho and I finally got to see the new baby. He's such a wiggly one, but o so cute.

Anyway, the real reason I'm in a bad mood today is my siblings. They are being such little asses. Their new comeback for everything is, "Well, I'm not the one who's pregnant." I realize I'm only 17 and I've freely admitted that I made a mistake. But that just can't be enough. For anyone. My dad was fighting with my mom a few days ago and mentioned that part of his problem is me. Apparently, I was supposed to outright say {again} that I had fucked up and I was sorry. I don't know how many times I've already said that to both of them. My brother keeps saying he isn't immature; what's immature is a 19 year old and a 17 year old ya da da da da. I called my sister stupid this morning {she was annoying me} and she turned around and said she wasn't the stupid one, she wasn't pregnant. I GET IT! I KNOW I SCREWED UP!! I swear to God if anyone says anything along those lines again anytime soon, I will call every number I have for Susanne and make her drag my sorry pissed off ass outta here. I can't take it anymore. Do they think that saying those things doesn't hurt me? It hurts a lot, like having my heart ripped out. And then I think about what they're saying, what they're saying about this baby. They all can't wait for him to come, but they can't get over how he was created. Well, if you want to love my baby you have to accept how he came into existence. I cried this morning after my sister said that to me. I heard arguing in the kitchen a few hours later. It took me a second to realize it was my parents telling my sister that it was uncalled for and she should apologize. She didn't.

I know every single one of you must have at least one experience like this, even some of you older moms. Age is just a number. I feel older, I act older. I can raise a child. Everyone believes that and they tell me so. Then why am I getting such a hard time about how he was created? Babies are created the same way no matter how old you are. Why is it nastier because I'm 17 and not 20?